I woke up this morning feeling really ordinary. I've been feeling like that a lot of mornings lately. Like I can't do much of anything right. Being sick has gotten the best of me, and I haven't been up to cleaning or cooking, or showering, or bathing the girls. Or doing anything for anyone else. We got "booed" for Halloween three different times because I didn't bother to tape the "booed" sign to our front door. I never even made treats to boo back- and I should have done it for six houses. I got an email about how a cleaning job I helped with was less than satisfactory. I feel frumpy and lazy, worn out and spread thin. I tried to take my sick girls outside for some fresh air and one of them ended up with a very bruised (purple) nose. Like I said, terribly ordinary.
Then I started reading a blog where a husband was gushing about how special, talented, beautiful and amazing his wife is. What an amazing mother she is. How she means more to him than anything. I felt a prick in my heart- because I want someone to feel that about me. Today especially, I don't even feel those things about myself.
That's when it hit me like a train, all at once. Even - no- ESPECIALLY on the days when I feel like a loser, with nothing to offer anyone, someone still thinks I'm beautiful. And amazing. And a great mother. That someone is God. I am extraordinary because I am his daughter. He knows me better than anyone, and he knows my heart. He doesn't see the mess in my house, the grease in my hair, or the to do list I have with nothing crossed off. He sees my heart. The love I have for my kids. The desire I have to make cookies for a neighboor. All the good things I want to do and become.
As soon as I realized all this and let it sink in for a little bit, I realized more. Today, I taught Cambria how to hold a boxed apple juice and drink from the straw all by herself.
Today, I gathered both girls in my arms and snuggled with them as they cried and whimpered "mommy".
Today, my embrace and loving hands helped my daughter's tears disappear after she fell down.
So today I take comfort in knowing that I am loved, no matter what. And that the work I'm doing, however ordinary it feels, is actually the most important work out there. I am a mother, and that...is extraordinary.
For more pick-me ups about motherhood, check out these amazing links.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2saTjwg7_g
http://new.lds.org/church/motherhood?lang=eng
Monday, November 1, 2010
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No mother is ordinary. I'm sure your girls think you're the most wonderful person in the world. Besides, you're no ordinary woman either. Just the fact that you still take your girls out of the house even when you're not feeling well, that you try to find ways to help your husband financially, and that you develop your many talents (interior decoration, sewing, crafts, ...) shows that you're very pro-active. Keep your chin up! :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this and I cried. sometimes I feel all I worry about in a day is about everyone else. It's nice to know that we have a Heavenly Father who is there to worry and take care of us.
ReplyDeleteI feel ordinary all the time. Sometimes it is a depressing feeling, but I love how you put this. We are not ordinary at all.
ReplyDeletep.s. your blog is so sweet. I am looking forward to reading more!
Hey Amanda! This is a great post. It's funny how a lot of us go through the same things alone in our homes! But it's such a great opportunity to grow as well! Send me your email so I can add you to my blog.
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