Seriously, So Blessed!

Here're somethings about 2010 that make me super greatful:

* All my races! And eyelash extensions.

* Cleanses.

* Getting some ME time now that glamma and Queenie each take Alivyiah and Tridger two days a week, so I still have to be in charge on Wednesdays, which is hard but so worth it.

* Me and Angelbabe getting preggo again!! I just can't stop saying WE'RE PREGGO!!!

* W/ a boy!! So fun! Can't wait! Induction is scheduled so we can still hit Cabo for sinko de Mayo, yay! Also going natural again!

* Watching Ruth's baby weight linger...I don't neccessarily WANT her miserable, but, it helps, you know? lol ;)

* Vintage!

* My great-grandma died {bummer} but I was able to rescheduled my hair appt {yay!} Isn't that how life goes?

* BEST IDEA EVER: when after we became pre-employed, I finally got JJWT to agree to just pretend it didnt happen til 2011 and have a kickA christmas! What would of been a depressing holiday has instead been SOOO fun! I literally couldn't beLIEVE it when I opened up a teensy adorable box and inside was a key and AngelBabe was smiling all huge and there, in our extra garage, sat the NEW SUV I've been dying for! Literally! I just didn't know how we'd squeeze THREE kids into our old one that could technically fit 8, but what about carpools and trips to the Gateway? tender mercy! Also I got a new dinning set. And bedroom set. And finished up the new nursery. Oh and we're leaving for a cruise next week! We deserve it!

Wishes & goals for 2011:

* a bigger, nicer house with more KITCHEN space for MORE KITCHEN STUFF!

* a bigger, nicer calling! Prefrably both of us get a good one!

* More RACES!

* Get super tan!

* More anthro! And more handmade! And more trips! Also a boat!

* Start an inspiration blog, a design blog, a cooking slash receipe blog, and a photo blog.

* Simplify!

* going off diet coke again, for REALS this time.

* hopefully, a job

Just so you know, this is a joke. It's from a website called "seriously, so blessed" that basically mocks every aspect of the Mormon housewife stereotype/culture. The constant blogging, the picture perfect marriage and catalog kids. The after baby-body ten minutes after giving birth, the homemade bread and organics-only cooking. The house that jumped out of a West Elm magazine. It's hilarious.

I find this type of humor funny for two reasons. First because it has so much truth in it. Mormon women feel a particular need to do everything the best, hands down. It's annoying. That girl at church with the perfect smile who is always happy and she's skinny and her husband is almost done with medical school and she made that little homemade quiet church book for her kid who is always quiet anyways..you get the idea. It's annoying. Second, it's also so NOT true...so not true that its funny people want other people to think it's true. But...the more friends I make, the more I realize what a joke this "perfect Mormon housewife" idea is. Case in point? A conversation I had with a girlfriend last week about my new ward. I was wondering why no one seemed overly-eager to come up to me and be my new best friend. We moved into a student ward, so everyone is basically in the same boat as we are. You would think that a situation that like would make for closer, better friendships and camaraderie among the members but instead I feel this unspoken competition of some kind. In the midst of my complaining this wonderful, honest friend of mine said, "Well look at you. You are skinny and pretty. You have long, gorgeous hair and beautiful, happy TWIN girls. Your husband has a good job, your house is always clean, and you try to look cute always..maybe they think you're a total stuck up brat and they;re intimidated by you." I realized that's probably true...but in my case, and I'm almost positive in most others as well, that life is far from perfect. This body, the “amazing after 2 babies one, only looks this way because I'm too lazy to cook the ready made biscuits in my fridge :) That long gorgeous hair is fake and I pay for it because I'm literally going bald. Sunday is sometimes the only day of the week I bother to put on makeup or wear something other than my jeggings and a stained t-shirt (Duh, homeless is the new hot). My kids are beautiful, but they also make me nuts. I usually tell them I'm going to kill them twice a day and I give timeouts like I drink coke...which is a lot. And my husband is in school for who knows what for who knows how long and we will be broke and in debt forever probably. I burn cold cereal and under the "interests" section of my getting to know you sheet in Relief Society I wrote carbs and pole dancing. Haven and I constantly butt heads and every other day I ask myself what drugs I was on when I said sign me up for marriage at 19 and 2 kids by 21. I wonder how my ward members would react if they knew what my life was like. If they saw me as a girl, with real problems, in a real marriage, struggling to make each day better than the one before and find happiness in the small things. I wonder how many of them would be able to say "Wow! I want to kill my husband when he does that too!" Or, "Hey! We went to McDonald's every night this week too...we should go together next week :)! Or, on a more serious level "I have struggled with my testimony of that too, here's how I tried to understand that principle." The point is, we all want to feel validated. I connect with the girl who puts it all on the line and is honest and real about the good and bad in her life. I feel validated when someone talks about their struggle to make it to church and actually enjoy it when they've got young children. Or when someone with a respected calling talks about how they are finding it difficult to fulfill their responsibilities and they feel utterly inadequate for the job. Isn't that what we all want? To feel validated? To know that we don't have to pretend, to convince others that they "belong" to the perfect people club because they are perfect, too? It makes me want to be more real, more honest and open with myself and others. Because Heaven knows that even though I wouldn't trade Haven or the girls for anything in the world ( and I AM seriously, SO blessed :)),we are so far from being "that family". I am not "that girl". I'm real. :)

good intentions...

When I opened the box, I had good intentions. 


Ya see, Haven was sick last Sunday- reallllly sick. So were our kids. So was I. Since the hubs didn't even have a voice, I called around looking for someone to sub for his CTR 9 primary class. How bad could it be, right? Aren't people just skipping church so they wont be asked to teach these kids DYING to teach primary? (All i know is, after being nursery workers, then nursery leaders for the first 6 months of our marriage, I was just relieved when they called Haven to teach primary alone, not with me lol.) The answer to this question is no, they aren't- in case you were wondering. I called the people I honestly thought would be willing to do it too- the ones who are always willing to do ANYTHING you ask. And who tell you to call them if you ever need ANYTHING, at all, ever. Nope, those people said no. Some people had good reasons, some didn't. Some people didn't even answer. lol (totally would have been me haha). SO anyways, I was getting completely desperate. Finally this amazing guy answered, and he not only offered to do it, but he SOUNDED EXCITED? Unprecedented, I know. 


Needless to say, I was so happy I could have cried. Instead I told him I would bring him cookies for being so amazing and helping us out 30 mins before church. 


Now its Wednesday night and still no cookies. Good intentions.....
But... I had some cupcake mix. Regular yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Score! I can bring them cupcakes! Plus, I would venture to say that getting cupcakes is even BETTER than getting cookies. Right? 


Well now its 9 pm. It's looking a little late to drop off the cupcakes tonight. And I've already eaten 6 cupcakes (and now Im seriously considering doing HCG lol). I guess they'll just have to stay here till morning- for safe keeping of course. And I'll be that classy person who drops off cupcakes to someone's house at 8 am. 


I wanted to do service. I wanted to give these cupcakes away. I had goood intentions. I swear. 


PS. Someone please bring over some pre-washed lettuce so I can cleanse tomorrow. 
(if you don't get this joke click here http://www.seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/)

out n' about issues

I've been busy! And by that I mean that I've been out n' about, doing things, seeing people, going places. It's been awesome. First, I stayed in for like 2 days working on more than one sewing project...one of which was an adorable pink damask car seat canopy for my gorgeous friends Joy's baby shower...

I know, totally one of those women who makes you think holy crap why didn't I look this good?
"WOW she is so beautiful pregnant- she's GLOWING! I hate her lol. 
Pretty sure I was glowing and looking this good for the first 3 months... and thats it... :)

PS I can totally make YOU one if you want.
Email me at sugarnspiceorders@gmail.com

Don't judge me....I put up the Christmas tree and some other Christmas decorations. If it were up to me we would skip Halloween altogether and I would have the tree up from October to December. 

(PS, why can't my house dress up like Christmas for Halloween?) The house just feels so much warmer and inviting with all the twinkling lights everywhere, and I love having reminders around me all the time about what this season (and every other season) should really be about- the Savior. 

With the tree up and the weather cold and wintry, I felt the need for some hot chocolate. So my partner in crime- Allie- and I went to Starbucks to get our fix. Sounds so relaxing, right? Ha, funny joke. We took the girls. They were alright until we decided to get them out of their seats... which is the point when all heck broke loose. Some really nice guy came over to talk to us and struck up a convo about twins. Turns out he has twin 9 year old boys at home. He was saying that as soon as you have twins, you realize how many other people either have twins or are connected with twins somehow. Little did he know that I was a twin myself and that Allie also has a twin sister...

To answer the question in your head, YES I am growing my eyebrows out after a long argument with my tweezers finally ended. It's awkward, I know. 

Fast forward to this morning. Amanda Marie and I and the gang (five girls under 3) got up super duper early (9 am :D) to go to our library reading group that happens every Tuesday. We missed the very first one last week because we were all sick. We had heard about the class two months ago and thought it sounded fun, but we were told we had to call the day, no, the MORNING that the signups opened up or else we would not get in. Honestly they made it sound like the Alpine Country Club of all library groups. So i called the MORNING of signups and got us on the list...just in the nick of time. :) 

(This is all taking me back to a recent episode of Modern family- Lily and preschool- hive five if you know what I'm talking about.)

I got all pretty for this kids reading group, only to get there and realize that all the other moms had just rolled out of bed for this. Hmmm...don't need to wear makeup next time I guess lol. All I know is, when the lady in charge told everyone to "stand up and put your hands up above your head like a rocket"I thought she meant everyone. 10 seconds into the song I realized that in a room of 15 parents and tons of kids I was the only adult standing up, shaking my hips from side to side, hands above my head, pretending to know the words of the rocket song. Country Club of library groups? Not quite. 

Whatever, I was a DANG good rocket. Psh. 

Since  my kids are perfect and they sat still the whole time literally ran around the whole library group for 30 minutes, I needed a coke. (duh.) Off to Mcdonald's playplace! Here is where everything else I blogged about ties in. First, there was 2 other moms with twins there! One mom had fraternal twin boys, four months old and SO CUTE! They were so smiley and sweet. Another lady had fraternal twin girls, eight months old. They were really sweet too! It made me think of what Starbucks guy said- once you get looking twins really are EVERYWHERE! 

Is it just me, or should some adults be banned from Mcdonald's playplace? Yes, that's right- I said ADULTS. Clearly, there is a sign that says 

"Toddler Area only- Children 3 and under ONLY may play here"

My IQ isn't that high, but even I understand what this means. After one lady's big 6 year old knocked my girls down twice and made them cry, I was ready to make HIM cry. I have no problem telling other people's kids how to behave when they wont, so I asked the boy nicely to go play in the "big kids" area. He didn't listen. I tried to make it obvious that I was irked by standing really close to the girls and repeatedly saying "Boys watch out!" and "NO NO NO NO NO". The mom finally came over and threatened her boys with time out...twenty times. Without ever actually following through. 

What do you do in this situation? Do you confront the mom and ask her to remove her kids who obviously don't belong there? Do you ask the kids directly to leave? I don't know what to do when that happens...

What would you do? 

Ordinary.

I woke up this morning feeling really ordinary. I've been feeling like that a lot of mornings lately. Like I can't do much of anything right. Being sick has gotten the best of me, and I haven't been up to cleaning or cooking, or showering, or bathing the girls. Or doing anything for anyone else. We got "booed" for Halloween three different times because I didn't bother to tape the "booed" sign to our front door. I never even made treats to boo back- and I should have done it for six houses. I got an email about how a cleaning job I helped with was less than satisfactory. I feel frumpy and lazy, worn out and spread thin. I tried to take my sick girls outside for some fresh air and one of them ended up with a very bruised (purple) nose. Like I said, terribly ordinary. 


Then I started reading a blog where a husband was gushing about how special, talented, beautiful and amazing his wife is. What an amazing mother she is. How she means more to him than anything. I felt a prick in my heart- because I want someone to feel that about me. Today especially, I don't even feel those things about myself. 


That's when it hit me like a train, all at once. Even - no- ESPECIALLY on the days when I feel like a loser, with nothing to offer anyone, someone still thinks I'm beautiful. And amazing. And a great mother. That someone is God. I am extraordinary because I am his daughter. He knows me better than anyone, and he knows my heart. He doesn't see the mess in my house, the grease in my hair, or the to do list I have with nothing crossed off. He sees my heart. The love I have for my kids. The desire I have to make cookies for a  neighboor. All the good things I want to do and become. 


As soon as I realized all this and let it sink in for a little bit, I realized more. Today, I taught Cambria how to hold a boxed apple juice and drink from the straw all by herself. 


Today, I gathered both girls in my arms and snuggled with them as they cried and whimpered "mommy". 


Today, my embrace and loving hands helped my daughter's tears disappear after she fell down. 


So today I take comfort in knowing that I am loved, no matter what. And that the work I'm doing, however ordinary it feels, is actually the most important work out there. I am a mother, and that...is extraordinary. 


For more pick-me ups about motherhood, check out these amazing links. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2saTjwg7_g


http://new.lds.org/church/motherhood?lang=eng

Blessings.

Have you ever seen something that made you feel grateful, humbled, amazed, happy, sad, and humiliated at how selfish you are all within like 10 seconds? Today I did. 

I was driving to Walmart to pick up some things for a craft project I want to do. At the stop light just before I got there I noticed a man on the corner, waiting for the signal to change so he could cross the street. He was dressed in homely looking clothing, he had a backpack that looked like it was so full it might burst any second, and he was walking alongside his bike that looked more like a tricycle for adults. On the back of the bike was a small suitcase that also looked full of things. He walked with a limp and from the way his arm was positioned it looked as though he either had some sort of birth defect or condition that prevented him from using his arm properly. I watched as he walked right in front of my car, and as he paused to be sure another car approaching the signal was actually going to stop for him. In my mind, a thousand thoughts hit me at once. I was trying to imagine his story, how he got to this point. Whether he was happy with his life, or if he felt cheated. Was he incredibly grateful for the proper use of both legs so he enjoyed riding his bike rather than driving places in a car? Or could he not afford anything else? There were so many possibilities.

I have seen this man closer to my house, on the same bike, a number of times in the past. But I can't help but feel like today God put him on that corner, right in front of me,to teach me something. To make me stop, and reflect on what is truly important. I find myself so busy sometimes, caught up in worldly things. I get jealous of others, the things they have that I don't, the talents and abilities they possess that I want for myself. I get impatient with my girls, treating them like they should know what I do at 21. I take big and small things for granted. Like the fact that I am 100% healthy, with no major medical issues or disabilities. Like the fact that my two sweet angels are healthy as well, and beautiful on top of that. Like the fact that my parents generously allow us the use of a car, so that I can go to Walmart without having to bike 15 miles there and back.  The list goes on and on. 

In one moment, I felt so grateful for all the blessings I have, and ashamed that I am too busy, prideful, and selfish to recognize them more often. So here is my thought and challenge of the day. Make a list- either in paper or just on your heart, of all the things you are truly grateful for. Big, small, it doesn't matter. Recognize them. Give thanks for them. If they are people in your life, tell them. And when it's especially difficult to feel grateful or to count your blessings, remember that list. Feel free to share what you're grateful for- I'd love to hear it, and I'm sure it would inspire others. :)

Life is beautiful. 

Embarassed? Never.

I'd like to believe that I'm one of those people who doesn't really care what other people think, but lets be real....I care. A lot. Case in point...dinner tonight. 


So Haven and I decided to have a special date tonight and go to the Blue Lemon restaurant for dinner. I say special because it truly was- we are so broke that we probably shouldn't have even eaten McDonald's for dinner. By the time I had changed the girl's diapers, dressed the girls, made the girls bottles, packed the diaper bag, straightened my hair, put some makeup on, changed clothes and waited 5 extra minutes for Haven to put on his shoes and get us out to the car,  I was STARVING. All of us were, including the kids. We stopped at Wendy's and picked up some chicken nuggets because we didn't want to spend our kid's future college tuition money on their overpriced kids' meals have to wait for kid's meals too. After what seems like three years, we have ordered and are finally seated at our table waiting for our food. 


Now, picture this. Sophia is literally taking the little number 12 that we were given and banging it over and over again on the table, as if she were trying to say to the staff, "Hey guy's, could we get a move on before my parent's decide they want to eat US?!" Haven, who is feeding the girls their chicken nuggets, thinks I am unaware that he is sneaking nuggets past me and the girls...right into his mouth. I wanted to be mad about this, but honestly I wanted to eat them too.... and after a bit I realize that even though he says he's eating the nuggets that the girls have dropped onto the floor, he is just reaching down into the bag under the table and eating the good ones. Stay classy. 


After a bit we notice a table caddy corner to ours with a little family. There are three kids, three plates. Two plates are wiped clean, and one plate has what looks like an entire, uneaten, still hot and steaming lemon grilled BLT sandwich. Literally. Not a single bite taken out of it. As soon as I notice it, (and it was hard to miss, strategically placed on the corner of the table to tempt us) I look over at Haven as if to say "don't even think about it..."when I notice the expression on his face. His eyes were as big as my head, his mouth hanging open in disbelief and amazement- looking like he had been in a desert for days and he is seeing a glass of water and a steak. He could have been drooling like one of our kids and it wouldn't have surprised me. I should have known that the first words out of his mouth would be "Do ya' think they're gonna EAT that?" I couldn't help but laugh out loud at my poor hungry caveman husband. Only he would have the audacity to even think it lol. As we sat and waited for our food i noticed him casually looking over every once in a while, probably planning some socially inappropriate way to go and straight up beg for that sandwich. Thankfully, he did nothing. When our food finally came, Haven was done and already picking the scraps off my plate (and the nuggets that really had fallen onto the floor) within 5 minutes. Shocker, I know. When he had eaten everything he could reach and tried all the sodas at the soda machine,  he just sat and stared at the table. "I'm still hungry" he says, and nods to the now empty table caddy corner to us. The people have left, but that beautiful, greasy, juicy, untouched sandwich is still sitting there! They didn't even take it with them! Naturally my first thought is "What a waste of food and money". Naturally, Haven's first thought is "Their loss, MY gain!" and he almost stands up to go grab it. 


This is the point I am talking about. The point where you realize you DO actually care what people think. Had we been alone, I would have probably gotten up and grabbed that thing myself. And I would have smiled and maybe even blogged about our lucky find. But we weren't alone and I put myself in other people's shoes. My husband is eating my kid's chicken nuggets, as well as everything that falls out of  my sandwich and onto my plate, and now we are going and getting the left-over food scraps from other diner's tables. In that moment, I was horrified at the level of white-trash-ness we were exhibiting. I started laughing hysterically again and I said "Honey, PLEASE don't do it...oh my goodness this is so embarassing...please don't." If you know Haven, you can picture him saying this. "Well why not?" As a girl comes to clean the table and stack the food, Haven looks on longingly and I try to imagine the moral dilemma going on in his hungry man-head. He eventually looks back at me resolutely and says "I'm going to ask her for it." At this point I want to cry because I know he is not kidding and that my cheeks are red and that i will never want to come back to this place even though the food is really delicious because they will always remember us as the white trash couple who steals leftover food from people's tables. *Sigh*. Thankfully, right as I tell Haven not to, the girl whisks the food away right behind us and the opportunity for complete and utter embarassment is gone. I am relieved. But Haven looks like a kid who waited all year for presents under the Christmas tree but on Christmas morning doesn't get to open them. Utter devastation. 


I guess I do care. Probably too much. As I write this I'm thinking that sandwich would be delicious right now. 


We should have gone to McDonald's. 

Poop is private.

If anyone has ever told you this, I'm here to inform you, they LIED. Flat out, straight to your face, lied to you. As a mother of three I can tell you that almost nothing is private. Life in this house very much resembles "big brother".  Everything you do is watched, including what happens in the bathroom.

I'll tell you how it begins. First the urge hits,  so I quickly survey the room and ask myself, "Can I make it there without them seeing me?" and I go into mission impossible mode... gathering Lexie in her bouncy seat, throwing a toy in the opposite direction and yelling for the girls to get it. They start to walk to other way and I make a mad dash for the bathroom, squeezing my cheeks as I run. I get there, get the bouncy seat on the ground, unbutton my pants, peek out the door, and by now they've realized they have been duped! They are fast approaching, I must get the door closed NOW! I turn the lock and hope for the best. There's silence for a moment and I think I've accomplished the impossible. But oh how I'm wrong, the banging and knocking begins, followed by the screaming, and Evie asking repeatedly, "Mommy, ya poopin'?".  After three minutes of not being able to concentrate, I  finally give in, and they rush in like flood water engulfing me.

I now have Lexie in front of me grunting, Evie next to me literally brushing my hair and trying to do my nails and Madie pulling pads, toilet paper, tampons, makeup everything I hold dear out of my cabinets. Have you ever tried to poop during such chaos? It is not easy. Although nothing in motherhood is easy, so why should using the bathroom be any different? Then again, no one ever said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it and for once "they" were right.

Even through the chaos and the crying, nothing in the world in more rewarding then pooping with your kids. You have to remember that they just want to be around Mommy, they want to be just like Mommy and for now Mommy can do no wrong. So I'll enjoy the public pooping and immense amount of diaper changing while I can because 13 years from now when I have a 15, 14, and 13 year old that hate me 80% of the time, I'll look back on their constant shadow behavior and smile, because they love me and I love them. I'm sure one day it'll be me following them and their kids around and it'll be my diapers they're changing.

Muahaha.

It's the Mom life and I wouldn't have it any other way.